Looking for a Good Book?

Click on the link below to find books reviewed by yours truly:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/AZ9CVKRXPE0PN/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview

Kentucky Waterfall?

Or is it a "mullover?"  Why you should always have a camera on your person.... 

1.  Kentucky waterfall:  n.  Busisness in the front party in the back! Hockey hair. See Mullet
2.  Mullover:  n.  A hairstyle worn by aging men which combines a comb-over and a mullet. Longer hair is brushed back to hide a bald spot.
3.  Hybrid? 

Skipper's Smoke House 1/22/11.  The best Kentucky Waterfall/Mullover I've seen since the turn of the century!!

Sabado Gigante

Had a great one.  Dined at The Refinery, a quirky "haute couture" "locavore" small plate bistro.  Sampled for the first and not last time, alligator... alligator ceviche to be precise.  Absolutely delish!! Taste acquired.

Apres hipster dining, motored up the road to Skipper's for the Del Castillo Concert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gyp8Us-ixkk&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=MLGxdCwVVULXd91U6-EfilQ4gIxqUcGi8j



What a fantastic band... Allman Bros. meets Eric Clapton meets Carlos Santana, shaken and stirred with a heavy dash of Gypsy Kings and Los Lobos.  Quaffed wassail (hot apple cider and rum), outdoors on a brisk night under a full Florida moon.  Totally digging the groove, when I became unsettled in a Jane Austen heroine kind of way.  Was it just my imagination, or was the dreamy lead singer of Del Castillo making eye contact with me?

Whilst waiting on line to buy a CD, like an apparition, I ran into said dreamboat. Clouds, halos, cherabim, seraphim, and dry ice seemed to surround this rock and roll god, whose seering eyes, smile, and "you can't escape me now" pysical presence rendered me speechless...maybe it was the wassail?

He flashed me a high wattage smile, wagged his finger and said, "Hi, you've got to start dancing." My heart went into a-fib, I re-watted his smile, and said "Hi." Then poof! prince charming sailed back to the stage...leaving me agog.  Whence, I fell off the "money diet" wagon big time, buying every Del Castillo gegaw, t shirt, and CD available.  It was as if the Monkees were back in town.

My beloved Monkees lunch box from 6th grade.

For the rest of the evening this guy literally "killed me softly with his song." Oh how sweet is the passion of a Spaniard with the good looks of a Harlequin Romance novel cover boy crooning mi corazon.  With every tousle of his mane of shiny black hair,  I succumbed...

Yes, I think it was just my imagination, about the eye contact, but I did start dancing (just in case). Once boy crazy always boy crazy.  And it was most certainly better than my typical Sabado spent watching Lawrence Welk, dusting my light bulbs, and painting my toenails "Kinky in Helsinki" red.

Oh, I forgot to tell you about the plantation---more about that later.

Cinderella awoke this morning to a day chock full o' errands, including Ikea, Publix, P.O., finally skedaddling back to the nest for some hobby farming on my miniature corn plantation.

How was your day?
xoxo
--Babs

Live Better, Work Union.

http://unionlibrarian.blogspot.com/

http://www.unitedfacultyofflorida.org/index.shtml

Does the 21st c. suck? Your opinion counts!

I can't decide.  It definitely takes a lot out of you.  Maybe it's just cuz I'm older. No I think it's technology, which daily extracts it's pound of flesh from all of us. 

The kids don't know how easy it was to get a college education back in the day when all you had to do was show up for class, and complete a mid-term and final blue book. 

I liked the 20th c. as I was a young, nubile, fertile thing, with a living Mom and Dad to pick up the tab. 

I like the 21st c. as I am a wiser, infertile thing, sans a guilt-inducing Mom and Dad, and I can pick up my own tab. 

So readers, it's been 10 years into this new century.  We've definitely gotten our bearings by now. kindly submit yourselves to my survey on the sidebar...

In the year 2000....



Welcome Aboard Lutheran Airlines*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61GTu14Gros

*Catholics and sinners sit in the back.

Cute Like Jesus, Part Deux

James Mc Murtry, son of Larry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWEJPqJtZsk&feature=related

Brandon Boyd, Incubus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWW3DzNpeMw

My "fasvorite" Beatle, George Harrison
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7qpfGVUd8c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3RYvO2X0Oo&feature=related 
Paul McCartney looks retarded if not insipid.

Cute like Jesus*

John Durant, Harvard grad, Paleo-man

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/265602/february-22-2010/exclusive---backstage-with-john-durant

Bret, Flight of the Conchords

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wqfcwgT0Ds

Eddie Vedder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r01YiEgNa0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Aqr_D8c1Sk

*And I don't mean a Lutheran Jesus.

Checklist that you've had a good party...

Well, it's been a week since the International Garage Dance Party.  You know you've had a good party when....
  Peripheral vision is starting to return.
You finally washed that sticky substance out of your hair.
 You finally got that sticky substance off your garage floor.
 The bruises are starting to heal.
You bust a gut toting this week's recyclables to curb.

Good to Go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QxkHguEp2_M

New Years Resolutions*

* Source:  The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.

1.  Conceal your intentions.

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

2.  Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit. Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause. Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed. In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered. Never do yourself what others can do for you.

3.  Infection.  Avoid the unhappy and unlucky.

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

4.  Make your accomplishments seem effortless.  Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease. All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed. When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions. Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.

5.  Play to peoples fantasies.

The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant. Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment. Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert: Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses. 


6.  Disdain things you cannot have.

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.


7.  Assume formlessness.

 By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.

International Garage Dance Party Update

Pagan solstice fire-worshipping hunting and gathering hipsters... preparations are in full force for the upcoming GDP.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYvzBAOoeU8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwqL3ENO4sA&feature=related

Product is icing.

Christmas Contrarian- Please read link below so you know what to get me next year.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/22/obsolete-things-decade_n_800240.html#s210855

What beautiful obsolete gifts I received for Xmas!!  Thank you all. 

Kids, to your left is what is called a "book,*"  purchased from a "bookstore*" on an arcane and obsolete tool known as a "map*."



It's called a "watch*" 

Folks, this is a "CD."  Wait...it only gets worse (better). 

CD's are played on a compact disc player.  Those are "books" on the shelf below.  Please note the Cornell University "Facebook" c.1912.

Aretha's Greatest Hits on "*vinyl."  Yes, you are seeing correctly, someone gave me two scrub brushes. 

My fave. The "Dumb Phone." A "dumb phone"can serve as a weapon of self defense: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGh1d3qmhWY.
Makes a lovely chirping ring http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chRfq0SpATw.
And I control it, it doesn't control me.

*Book:   Object used as a coaster, or to increase the stability of poorly built furniture.  Too bad, cuz once upon a time when you were lonely, bored, broke, and no one wanted to be your friend, a book was a precious commodity.  You could even get them for FREE.  They looked really awesome on shelves, lining the walls of your nest or man cave. 

*Bookstore:  A really cool place to go, especially on a first date.  Bookstores were magical places in which time was warped.  Hours would pass and it would seem like minutes. 
 

*Map:  A chart not easily read or used by your average American retard.  Separated the wheat from the chaff, and ensured that the dumb stayed put in their trailer homes. 

*Watch:  A cool fashion accessory, that was also functional in getting you where you needed to be on time.  Another item that separated the wheat from the chaff.  To wit, an unemployed panhandler/beggar had no need for a watch. 

*CD (Compact Disc):  Silver colored, late 20th c. storage device for music.  A CD allowed you to own music in an actual library. Oft-times, one would stumble upon a random, unknown, track on a CD, that would blow you outta the water & change your life in good ways. That's an old timey occurrence known as "serendipity," and the subject of a subsequent blog post.  CD's were replaced in the early 21st c. by iPods... created by the evil empire of Apple, who would allow you to "rent" but not own the music you  purchased http://www.bythom.com/apple.htm.  Stupid conspicuously consuming cows would pay Apple to "download" music to a computer, i.e. your virtual music "library." However, it was utterly impossible to transfer your music library from one computer to another.

*Vinyl:  Oh, if I only had "Sticky Fingers" on vinyl.  I have nothing to play these gems on.  Adore the scratches.  Reminiscent of hot and heavy make out sessions back in the day.  In addition to the benefits of CDs, vinyl lasts forever, unless you are a total retard and store them in your attic in South Florida (Fang). Vinyl refers to long playing records (LPs). Today new vinyl is pricey. Vinyl records are considered by audiophiles to be superior to CDs as they are "warmer" and more pleasant sounding than CDs. They are correct.

International Garage Dance Party

12/29/10

Bring iPod & folding chair

5p EST - ?

If u r interested in "Skyping" the party, please e-mail me below.

Homage to Baby Bea-- Bitch 2.0

Not only is my little gal successfully running a million dollar bidness...she's devoted to her Mom.  To wit: below please find some flair I documented on a recent visit to her deeply funkified apartment. Warms the cockles and sub cockles of this Mother's cold, cold heart.  

Refrigerator magnet



Refrigerator magnet

The piece d'resistance hanging on the "Mother-in-law" suite bathroom door.

Save the Date

International Garage Dance Party

December 29, 2010
Babs' hacienda
5:00 p.m. - Dawn?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jLGa4X5H2c&feature=related

Define "hubris"

Another multi-layered teaching moment that I feel compelled to share with the blogosphere

Hubris:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubris.  The important pieces of this definition-- "arrogant," "out of touch with reality," and for that "punishment will follow." 

People of the world, know ye that Floridians have mightily committed hubris and are now being karmically punished....last week we thought 62 degrees was cold, and broke out the faux fur, and UGGs, and cute, sexy fingerless gloves.

However, that taunted the Maker, who deemed "I shall spank those haughty Floridians and make it REALLY fricking cold so they remember who's boss."
 

Well gang, you can sport all the politically correct faux fur, groovy balled-up fleece, and goose down stuffed into gore tex you want, this former Michigander, luxe neo-paleo bitch is going to take care of bidness in the way she "get it from her Mamma"...with animal pelts, specifically, MINK. 

Mink (unlike otters who are super cute) are nasty mammals that have no redeeming qualities when alive...okay let the death threats begin. I'm busting this vintage beauty outta cold storage this night...

Hubris...a sin, which next to lust, Babs repeatedly commits (in her heart, of course).  Renders her way funnier, yet, liable to severe karmic spankings than your average Lutheran!!

Regifting

Easy Peasy!

Taken to new heights...or lows...

Next year it will be Harry

A Fairy Tale in Yiddish Part II

Priscilla's schlock to Fang arrived, wrapped in paper saved from previous Hanukas dating back to the mid 70's, pressed with an iron to remove the creases.

Night one: 6 month supply of stolen hotel soap.
Night two: A  Bob Ross "Paint by Numbers" kit.
Night three: Denture glue (most probably shoplifted from Publix).
Night Four: Four Renuzits purchased BOGO (Buy One Get One) at Publix in a delightful Santa scent.   

Night Four














Night Five: a regifted year-old fruit cake.
Night six: A case of beef jerky


Night seven:  Brand new BWM Alpina B7

Night eight:  A manilla envelope stuffed with gelt in the form of 100 crisp brand new, freshly laundered $1,000.00 bills.

Oy vey, it seemed that despite Priscilla's best efforts to buy her boychick's love, the humble offerings of his luftmensh shiksa, filled Fang's heart filled with naches.
 
Priscilla plotzed at this unexpected turn of events, and decreed there could only be one Queen in the kingdom.  Fang was verklempt, as by now Babs had totally pupik whipped him. 

Boys and girls who do you think that schmendrick Fang chose?  Here's a few hints for the next installment of this fairy tale... blood is thicker than water, especially when you have been chronically unemployed for 15 years and have no discernible job skills, and may be a little faygala on the down low....

A fairy tale in Yiddish- Part I

Once upon a time there was a freylech middle-aged shiksa named Babs, married on paper to a ferscnocked putz posing as a mensch named Fang, who was secretly married, as are most good Jews, to his balabusta dreck of a mother, named Priscilla.

Fang



Priscilla



Babs

   





 Versus:

There was a magical time in the kingdom of alter kockers known as the "Festival of Lights."  Babs carefully chose her gifts to Fang:

Night one: A new shirt from Banana Republic to replace the threadbare Banana Republic schmatte in gun metal gray that Fang purchased in 1982 and refused to stop wearing.
Night two: A pair of UGGs sheepskin slippers.
Night three: A fleecy robe from Nordstrom.
Night four: A pair of Levi's 501 boot-leg dark wash to replace the stone washed peg-leg Sears Toughskins jeans that Fang purchased in 1982 and refused to stop wearing.
Night five:  1st printing of The Coffee Trader by David Liss personally signed by author "Mazel Tov Fang.  Your tribal bra-- Dave"
Night six:  limited release bottle of The Glenlivet Cellar Collection 1972 Cask Strength (aye yee could hear the skreel o' the bagpipes just corking this gem).   
Night seven: 1945 Vintage Girard-Perregaux watch featuring an 18k rose gold case and honey alligator strap.

Night eight:  A rare Hugh Hefner vintage smoking jacket.

Now my little bubbalas it's time for bed....Tante Babs will be back with further installments of the "fairy tale," in which goniff Priscilla's gifts to Fang arrive, and Priscilla decrees there's only room in the kingdom for one Queen and attempts to banish Babs to Hotzeplotz. 

Sources: 
http://www.sbjf.org/sbjco/schmaltz/yiddish_phrases.htm



Define "cold"

Puh-lease... Floridians...get a grip.  A pleasant, sunny 62 degrees is considered "high summer" in Michigan, and DOES NOT warrant down jackets, mittens, UGGs, etc.

Homeboys and homegirls would be sporting beaters, flip flops, shorts, and a protective coating of zinc oxide on the proboscis before heading out for a day at the beach.

Overheard upseaking co-ed making derisive comments today..."bitch be wearing these daisy dukes, like she's an Eskimo or something?"  Okay, maybe it's time to put the dukes in moth balls for the season...but really, bitch, is this necessary....?

Readers, share with the blogosphere your definition of cold... mine is Fang's heart. BTW, Happy Hanukah douche bag.