Historic choke to celebrate the historic choke.

I am firmly convinced that the Rays win only, and only if, I am knitting, not watching the game-- just knitting.  With out fail, if I deign to stop to look up at the TV-- action on the field stops or, the balls go loosey goosey, or the other team scores (don't you adore baseball lingo?). 

This has been my knitting output during the last two games with the evil Yankee empire.  I axe you, wtf am I going to do with this 12 foot long furry angora scarf in Florida?  Yea, yea, I can here the chorus of my sibs now "go hang yourself with that fugly scarf."  Hey folks...coming to a Xmas tree near you...

When Jeter was at bat my needles would spark and fly with righteous indignation if not seething anger.  Honest to God, I just hate that dude's cocky swagger, hauteur, and his "assume the position" batting stance. 

For those of you who can read, below is a good recap of the night of baseball, which can only be described as Shakespearean in scope. BTW, written by Bay City, MI homeboy.  http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/tampa-bay-rays-boston-red-sox-fates-converge-last-night-of-mlb-regular-season-decide-al-wild-card-with-historic-choke-092811

For many of you who can't or won't read the video below sums it all up pretty well. FYI, I'm dating the tall one.


P.S. To the righteous and opinionated Mr. Parker Stone, & my readers in the UK & Oz who look down their noses at baseball as akin to watching paint dry...fuck you and kiss my ass. Have at it y'all, with your extreme frisbee and uber boring soccer. Oops aren't those games for 6th grade boys and 4th grade girls respectively? Jus sayin'.

ABBY*

Any Body But the Yankees

I hate the Yankees thru and thru...
I hate the Yankees, yes I do.

Babs hates the Yankees just because...
Fang loves the Yankees, yes he does.

Jeter is a cheater yes he is...
A-Rod be a juicer, test his piz.

Jesus hates the Yankees yes he do...
Even though Koufax, he was a Jew.

My dad hates the Yankees I think he would...
If rise from up from the dead, I think he could.

I hate the Yankees thru and thru...
I hate the Yankees, yes I do.

Go Rays!!!

--Babs

Practice makes perfect?

Happy Autumnal Equinox Fellow Druids!!

Two of my favorite September songs.

The "Grab Life by the Balls" Bill

Doing my patriotic duty since 1974.  Can you say the same?

To juice or not to juice? That is the question...

Dear Followers:

Yay or Nay on "juicing" (you know, that little blue pill)? Please watch the video below, then comment and/or vote in the poll on the sidebar.

I don't waste one nanosecond of my precious time trying to change someone elses mind on ANYTHING (perhaps with the exception of potentially offing me or mine). Why?

1) I don't care what you think.
2) I don't care what you think of what I think.
3) When someone tells me what to think, I immediately think just the opposite.
4) Wayyy too much work!!

That said, I will give you my personal opinion about the little blue pill...fellas stop trying so hard (ha ha!). If you gotta juice,"you're not getting in."

Sad, sorry, world of online dating.

 These are actual real life photos that I have received via e-Harmony. 

What I asked for...




What I got. "Hey fatso, I can't wait to get in your fucking PT cruiser and drive around with you."  WTF? 

 

What I asked for....



What I got.  "Hey fatso, those pleated trou make you look slim.  Who gets on top?"



365 days to a man...

Re-upped for 3 more months on e-Harmony.  I believe in posting an honest profile.   Avoids all that "getting to know you shit."  Frick, I'm so bored with my own story, I can barely stand to tell it again.  Honesty will ensure the dude "gets you," so as to avoid disappointment.  Below please find my profile, complete with "must haves" and "can't stands." 

The one thing I am most passionate about:
Me!!!
Basic Information:
Occupation: Advanced degree in dying profession.
Age: 55
Height: 5' 4"
Wants Kids: No, I hate kids.
Kids at Home: No, only my 2 grown children are allowed into my home.
Ethnicity: Freckled and White
Religion: Lapsed Catholic
Drinks: Several times a day
Smokes: Whenever I can get some good product.
My interests:
I typically spend my leisure time: Drinking & smoking.

The last book I read and enjoyed:  "What Would Keith Richards Do?"
According to my friends:
My friends describe me as:
A bitch
A mean drunk
A joke
The three things I can't live without are:
Sex
Drugs
Rock & Roll
The first thing people notice about me:
I swear like a sailor.
 
What are you looking for in a man?

This would be it!!!

Top Ten Must Haves:

1. At least 6' 0," 6' 2" and above preferred.
2. Lean and a little mean.
3. Know 'bogart' is a verb.
4. A job, so you're not bugging me all the time.
5. A straight non-juicer.
6. Use your blinker (i.e.turn signal).
7. Cool car. (Doesn't need to be new or fancy, just cool).
8. Like to listen to rock music really loud.
9. Reside in or will relocate to slacker paradise, i.e. State of Florida.
10. Know what the "oxford comma" is.

Top Ten Can't Stands:

1. Mimes.
2. Know-it-alls.
3. Gynecomastics/Fat fucks.
4. Making friends with the wait staff.
5. Guys named Dick, Bob, or Jerky.
6. Pug Nose.
7. Comb overs, rugs, dyed hair.
8. Golfers.
9. Member of the Nascar Nation.
10. TEA-TOTALLERS NEED NOT APPLY!!!

So there you have it, a peek inside Babs' gentle soul.  Tomorrow I will share with you the actual matches that the retard e-Harmony computer/robot is sending me.

The Bitch is Back!!

Bitch had to go underground for awhile. But I'm back, bitchier than ever, after having returned from a vacation with my sister Jane.

Jane I'm gonna throw that fucking smart phone o' yours in the ocean!! AND WTF? A 25-mile bike ride on a 97-degree day? Jane, next year on your holiday, just check into a concentration camp.

And since when don't you eat leftovers? "I take good food that I've paid for and throw it out?" Don't you remember your starving student days dumpster diving at the University of Mott the Hoople?

Glad I parked my lazy ass at the pool. I think I met my future ex-husband.