Collard Green Virgin

Yummy.  I'm gonna have to plant me a mess o' this delicious green.

What a bit o' bacon grease, red onion, and sunflower seed can't do to make a roadside dandelion taste delish?

You might want to be gentle with yo bad sef and lose your virginity at Bailey's. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRF24LY5pvw

Tequila is good for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFi6bfOKU0M&feature=email

Verily, verily, I say unto you...

Old friend, the Feckless Piker, a.k.a. Lord Polo (see above)...

...has gotten himself into some real, serious trouble.  He has gone and gotten himself all churched up-- way over the edge, and beyond churched up.  Dude's got a bad case of "Old Time Religion:"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f68TdgErXkE&feature=related

Of course, all this has to do with a woman, and a Lutheran woman to boot.  Lord Polo doesn't leave his office without a Bible, has taken to thumping said book, all the while quoting scripture and verse, in an affected oratorical, sonorous style ala Oral Roberts meets Billy Graham.

I knew it was time to stage an intervention when he showed up for his shift at the Reference Desk sporting Tim Tebow-esque makeup.  But his friends are all too lazy to care.
 

He says his lady friend enjoys "a vigorous spiritual life."  I betcha she does ("oh God, oh God").  Lord Polo's gotten so all over this "being saved" crap that people are avoiding him more than usual--even more so than when he has chile for lunch on Wednesdays.

So verily, verily, I say unto you, let's hope this too shall pass, and he'll stop talking about heaven, and boring everybody silly with his godamn holiness.  See what happened Lord Polo to those Americans who were passing out Bibles from their yacht in Somalia?

Smote, smite, smitten!!!

Spanish Inquisition at BJ's

Feathering and provisioning nest for upcoming "Sister Reunion 2011."  Kept me outta trouble this weekend as I literally haven't washed a dish, nor picked up the floordrobe since the International Garage Dance Party. 

So after getting the ride all detailed...man do those car wash guys work hard (see sidebar musical selections), motored over to BJ's to top off tank with petrol and stock up on sundry product:

l-r Mexican Coke made w/real sugar, 1/2 g. Flora d'Cana, 3 made-in-America cheap, yet tasty whites, & picnic supplies.

Which augments what remains from Dance Party.

The following interchange transpired at checkout:

Gal at cash register:  "Having a party?"
Me:  "Yea, a sister reunion."
Gal:  "How many sisters do you have?"
Me:  "I've got 4, but just 1 is coming."
Gal:  "She coming for a long visit?"
Me:  I'm now starting to bristle, and thinking :  WTF bitch?  Have I asked you about those disconcerting rings through your nose and eyebrow, the gauged out ear, not to mention your offensive muffin top?
Me:  "Yea she's coming for 3 days, and we're going on a lot of picnics." thinking: MYOFB & back-off troll.    
Gal:  "Can I see your I.D.?"
Me:  thinking:  All is forgiven, isn't she just as cute as a button? 

Florida State Fair

Decided to play hookey from the sweat shop and get me a snort full o' Florida State Fair goodness on Wednesday.

You aren't a true Floridian unless you attend this annual super fest o' Americana, so it was my duty as a citizen to attend this hot steaming mess of a corn dog State Fair.

 

What a fabulous day!! Despite my Mom's best "Hyacinth Bucket" pose, there's a whole lot of carnie blood pumping in these veins. 

Whilst waiting on line for a ride on the Tilt a Whirl, who did I run into, but the Dean of Discipline, himself Sam Shellhammer.  Sam was incognito, but Babs outed him with a "hail fellow well met," as the Dean tried to hide the deep fried Twinkee he was gnoshing on.

Then whilst chatting it up with the lady who charges 25 cents to shake her monkey's hand (plotting my retirement career), I turn around and 'sho 'nuff, there was the Head of Reference and his wife scarfing deep fried Oreos.  Well the list goes on and on.  Everyone from the University must've taken annual leave on that glorious day.

  

The denouement of the day was a joyous family reunion.....

Long lost cousin, 2x removed, Jerry Callahan.  We're going to stay in touch via Facebook. 

Happy Valentines Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZTVNhjp7H8&feature=related

P.S.  To my sweethearts-- past, present, and future....Happy Valentines Day my dears.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TL2B-iiVhA

Going under the Radar. You're welcome.

Thank you and Good Luck.  Be back on Monday 2/14/11. 

This just ain't right...

http://www.wisn.com/r/26827947/detail.html

Map Librarians Have All the Fun

The Motor City

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKL254Y_jtc

Awesome!!!  Thanks to fellow Michigander in diaspora Emma Eiderdown for forwarding the above link to me.  Beautiful imagery, but ain't nothing, not even if Lee Iococca was giving them away for free, would get me behind the wheel of a PT Cruiser.   

Detail of Detroit Industry - Diego Rivera, 1933. Fresco mural. Detroit Institute of Arts

P.S. Enjoy the Ghost of the Grande Ballromm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGQ5NZnzlLA

It's the University of SOUTH Florida*

Take advatage of exciting new CR/NC courses being offered Fall Semster 2011:

Department of Dance: DC 201.  "Movement for the college athlete."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aazG7dMhE7I

College of Communications: COC 205 "Effective utilization of non verbal communication skills."  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbe_u046bJw&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rjxYFQTY6U

College of Fine Arts: COF 169. "Screenwriting and Editing 101"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVGtVoUKJ6A

Non credit and extracurricular opportunites for new students:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rjxYFQTY6U

* Register soon as these sections are certain to fill fast.

Superbowl XLV. Who gives a shit?

To:  Babs
From:  Parker Stone
Date:  2/5/11
Subject:  Just curious?

Babs:
Sacajewa* and I are busy cleaning in advance of Super Bowl gig here in the gated compound. The feature on the menu will be Pigs-in-a-Blanket.

Curious, who are you backing, Pittsburgh or Green Bay? And will you be coming to the party, so I can order a taxi in advance?
 
--Parker
 
To: Parker Stone
From: Babs
Date: 2/6/11
Subject: FW: Just curious?

Dear Parker:
Wow, pigs in a blanket, be still my beating heart.  It's heartening to know you've upgraded from last year's fare of cheese whiz on stale Triskets.  Parker, just curious, do you still own that that surly little rat-dog cur that bit me last year?  Are you gonna lock that little bitch in the attic?
 
And Parker you know I am perhaps the only person in the US who couldn't give a shit about the stupid Superbowl.  Millionaire v. Millionaire.



Oh, and the lure of corporate America..."hey retards, watch our ads."  The Superbowl is merely the closing ceremony of the bloated, greed-induced capitalist high season that spans Thanksgiving and culminates on Superbowl Sunday. 
 
Yea, thanks dude, order the taxi.  Tell 'Jawea I'll be bringing cocktail weinies.
xoxo 
--Babs

*Sacajawea= Parker's crunchy granola wife. 

Pure Michigan...pure shite!

Dearest friends, family, foe, ex-husbands/boyfriends, and wannabes in the great State of Michigan:

Send me your huddled masses.  Now accepting 1st come, 1st served guests.   

Price of admittance to neo tropical haven of bliss:  prescription meds, cuz I know for a fact, bitches, you be scripted up, dosed, & mainlined to the point of liver damage by your cadre of Punjabi Docs.  How else could you cope with/sort out this kind of shit for 9 months of the calendar/fiscal year? 

Photo stolen from KentMiller.com.  Please note dominatrix kid sis Jane (in John Deere green) at the window, hand on hips, supervising.  For the first time in 60 yrs., BBB (Bogart Bail Bonds) was closed due to inclement weather. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsR0DeY7f1g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvWzz04ikvg&feature=related

Kent, you're going to experience a bit o' shrinkage.

xoxo

--Babs 

What they think of us in Australia...

After the zesty 2nd amendment gun debate, a reader from Oz sent me the above.  At least Michigan ain't in "Jesusland."

Open Letter to Bob McDonnell, Governor of Virginia, from my best friend Emma Eiderdown

To:  Gov. Bob McDonnell
From:  Private Citizen
Subject: Lifting Gun Ban in State Parks
Date: January 31, 2011

Message:

I was appalled to learn that you have lifted the ban on carrying firearms openly in our state parks, just as I was when you signed the "Guns-in-Bars" bill last July. It is utterly incomprehensible to me that you fail to see the correlation between a country with weak gun laws and a country with one of the highest levels of gun violence in the world. Did you learn nothing from Tucson? Did you learn nothing from the Virginia Tech massacre? What will it take for our leaders to quit appeasing the gun nuts, and start looking out for the safety of its citizens?? There is a lot of anger in this country right now. The last thing we need is to be making it easier for the angry wing nuts to arm themselves. The only people who should carry hand guns are police and other law enforcement personnel...PERIOD. And yet the debate isn't whether we should eliminate semi-automatic weapons lately, but whether we should limit the number of rounds they can shoot without reloading. COME ON! Give me ONE reason why a private citizen needs a semi-automatic weapon? There IS only one -- to kill people!! How hard is this to understand??? Take a look at that mother in Tampa last week-end, who decided to shoot her two children because they were always back-talking her. Every day it's another horrific story, but you legislators keep burying your heads in the sand, clinging to the 2nd Amendment. The 2nd Amendment was written during a completely different era of history, and I find it insane that you as a leader don't see that. I beg of you -- quit listening to the gun lobbyists and try using your brain. Your state depends on your wise choices.

Sincerely,
Ms. Eiderdown
54 Teacup Lane
Richmond, VA

Gasparilla is retarded...

Arrg matey, you look gay.  Lady, I don't understand your costume.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/01/30/2041977/more-than-300-arrested-at-tampa.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gasparilla_Pirate_Festival

Holy Shit!

All you 2nd amendment people... Read this and weep...

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/tampa-mother-accused-of-killing-two-kids-now-hospitalized-in-intensive/1148410

Those poor kids were dealt a very bad hand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dFFO2z6gXg

Looking for a Good Book?

Click on the link below to find books reviewed by yours truly:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/AZ9CVKRXPE0PN/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview

Kentucky Waterfall?

Or is it a "mullover?"  Why you should always have a camera on your person.... 

1.  Kentucky waterfall:  n.  Busisness in the front party in the back! Hockey hair. See Mullet
2.  Mullover:  n.  A hairstyle worn by aging men which combines a comb-over and a mullet. Longer hair is brushed back to hide a bald spot.
3.  Hybrid? 

Skipper's Smoke House 1/22/11.  The best Kentucky Waterfall/Mullover I've seen since the turn of the century!!

Sabado Gigante

Had a great one.  Dined at The Refinery, a quirky "haute couture" "locavore" small plate bistro.  Sampled for the first and not last time, alligator... alligator ceviche to be precise.  Absolutely delish!! Taste acquired.

Apres hipster dining, motored up the road to Skipper's for the Del Castillo Concert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gyp8Us-ixkk&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=MLGxdCwVVULXd91U6-EfilQ4gIxqUcGi8j



What a fantastic band... Allman Bros. meets Eric Clapton meets Carlos Santana, shaken and stirred with a heavy dash of Gypsy Kings and Los Lobos.  Quaffed wassail (hot apple cider and rum), outdoors on a brisk night under a full Florida moon.  Totally digging the groove, when I became unsettled in a Jane Austen heroine kind of way.  Was it just my imagination, or was the dreamy lead singer of Del Castillo making eye contact with me?

Whilst waiting on line to buy a CD, like an apparition, I ran into said dreamboat. Clouds, halos, cherabim, seraphim, and dry ice seemed to surround this rock and roll god, whose seering eyes, smile, and "you can't escape me now" pysical presence rendered me speechless...maybe it was the wassail?

He flashed me a high wattage smile, wagged his finger and said, "Hi, you've got to start dancing." My heart went into a-fib, I re-watted his smile, and said "Hi." Then poof! prince charming sailed back to the stage...leaving me agog.  Whence, I fell off the "money diet" wagon big time, buying every Del Castillo gegaw, t shirt, and CD available.  It was as if the Monkees were back in town.

My beloved Monkees lunch box from 6th grade.

For the rest of the evening this guy literally "killed me softly with his song." Oh how sweet is the passion of a Spaniard with the good looks of a Harlequin Romance novel cover boy crooning mi corazon.  With every tousle of his mane of shiny black hair,  I succumbed...

Yes, I think it was just my imagination, about the eye contact, but I did start dancing (just in case). Once boy crazy always boy crazy.  And it was most certainly better than my typical Sabado spent watching Lawrence Welk, dusting my light bulbs, and painting my toenails "Kinky in Helsinki" red.

Oh, I forgot to tell you about the plantation---more about that later.

Cinderella awoke this morning to a day chock full o' errands, including Ikea, Publix, P.O., finally skedaddling back to the nest for some hobby farming on my miniature corn plantation.

How was your day?
xoxo
--Babs

Live Better, Work Union.

http://unionlibrarian.blogspot.com/

http://www.unitedfacultyofflorida.org/index.shtml