Plumage

Babs is going to wear this black plume until the oil spill is capped.

Summer's Cancelled

Then: 

Now:   http://blogs.tampabay.com/photo/2010/06/gulf-oil-disaster-pensacola-beach.html

Then:  Anna Maria Island 11/09/09

Now:  Louisianna Beach 6/10/10

I had to get an x ray today...

...and this is what they saw. 

I said Doc-tor, Mr. M.D.
"What does it mean to die of a broken heart?"

"Its means you feel so sad its to hard to do any thing.  But don't worry you'll get over it. And stop hooking up with Mr. Wrong."

Happy Father's Day

Below.  Dirk and Viv Bogart then:

                                                                          Above.  Dirk and Viv Bogart now. 

                                                                   Together forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swHHoC1XYk8&feature=related

Alaska Sucks...

Kent has been found and he took lots of purty pictures.  

Opie and Anthony sum up all of Babs' secret and not so secret feelings on the Last Frontier in the cut below(warning strap on your Attends Undergarment this is so hilarious).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C8wMFy3VY4

Babs' got street cred on this diss, as she visited AK 2 years ago, and was totally disturbed by moose on the menu, an abundance of knotty pine, not to mention it's always COLDER than a witches t...

Alexander Supertramp

My dear brother-in-law, Kent, http://www.blog.kentmiller.com/ has gone all missing somewhere in Alaska. 

Jane, please call the park rangers.  Alaska ain't no walk on a miniature golf course.  It's an unforgiving place, filled with cold hearted beasts, and wicked animals, too. 

You need to pack heat to take out the garbage in Alaska.  Please refer to the classic documentary Grizzly Man   http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427312/.

I am tired of this mutha f****** oil!

Send in the following triumverate of bad ass American "can do's" to take care of this mutha f****** mess in the Gulf.  Louisianna and Alabama, who have sold their souls to the oil companies, are one thing-- but the freaking mess is heading toward Florida, who has heretofore just said NO to offshore drilling  http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/13/us/13florida.html?ref=todayspaper .  Decision time "by committee" is OVER.  Take care of it boys:

Sgt. James from the "Hurt Locker."

Samuel L. Jackson ala "Snakes on a Plane." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLaX8UvVUQw

 

above:  Tim Howard American goalie extraordinare:

Oh Cat where are yee?

• Cat Stevens.  One of the coolest rock monikers of all time.  "Wild World" .. a song for the soundtrack of many a steamed up makeout and, break up sessions Babs was party to in her halycon days of the 70's.  How did this joyous, gorgeous man puffing on spleef... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gP0r0JvgvHU&feature=related

• ...Morph into this dour,dreach old Muslim fundamentalist, Yusaf?  Cat, er. Yusaf you still have more than a  shred of mojo, and with help from Brad Pitt's stylist you could be resurrected (like Jesus, ha ha) into the hot guy you once were.   Whatever you do stay away from Paul McCartney's stylist.  First step, ditch your religious affiliation Cat, it's retrograde.  You ain't gettin' much play in your present rig.    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKGBaAfsRts&feature=related

          Song still kicks ass.

• Iconic ballad revisited quite successfully by a quintessential hair band of the eighties--Mr. Big. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5DMiz6H2no

Wee ferrets, which version do you like the best?   

“There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go." --Tennesse Williams

courtesy of:  http://grafischeslabor.blogspot.com/

Colbert kicks Hayward's ass

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/311927/june-07-2010/oil-s-well-that-never-ends

Anyone got a good caption for the picture of this douchebag?

WTF?   Babs thinks Tony's having an olfactory flash back to his good ole British Public School days-- "sodomy and the lash."   

Reader "input" appreciated.  Please comment below.

From Sea to Shining Sea

From Alaska to Florida, we stand in solidarity in sending out the following bitch slap to British (fucking) Petroleum. 

Swivel Tony Hayward

Happy Memorial Day to those who have the most soul...our Soldiers!!

It's not about picnics and/or drunken bacchanals, or shopping til you drop at your local Mall in the Hood...

...it's all about the men and women who have served or serve our country.  I dedicate to you the following:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdhois-aiYs

Ensembles according to Babs...

Let the weekend begin

Happy Cinco de Mayo

This is the cube of Babs.  I have been relegated to the "spank tank" due to social behavior. 

Note my devotion to the Virgin of Guadalupe.*  A portrait of Sr. Lucille by Velasquez, Mother Superior of Sr. Lucille's Academy for Incorrigible Teens (SLIT for Sluts), hangs to the right.  Post mortem, that old crone, still has her lazy eye on me.

Boys and girls-- yee are about to hear the catechism according to Babs-- Jesus wants you to have a good time while you're here under this veil of tears.

Jesus would NOT approve of this sign posted at my local Public Library.  Jesus hearts both skateboarding and horseplay.

What I want to know is this-- is there a vast right wing Lutheran conspiracy afoot to topple the one true church?  Have they installed a puppet Nazi quisling at the helm?  It's time a competent American bitch steps forward and cleans up the mess in Vatican City.  Hillary Clinton would be perfect for the job, but unfortunately she's a Methodist (at least she's not a Lutheran).  Caroline Kennedy?... well, she's as dumb as a box of rocks.

What do Jesus and Patti Smith, poetess extraordinaire, have in common?

"If you see things around you--unjust and unclean, that need change-- don't just sit on your ass, take it to the streets...use your voice..." 

--Patti Smith, Detroit Rock Royalty.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q40GZrxmup0

*This message has been approved by the Virgin of Guadalupe.

**Conflict of interest disclosure:  After years of double secret probation, mother church has excommunicated Babs twice.  If they could, they'd have burned  me at the stake (twice).  Those who fear for their immortal souls may want to tread carefully.      

Inheritance check

Dirk Bogart Sr (b. 1919? he constantly lied about this date - d. 2002 disinterred in 2004)

My late great father Dirk Bogart, Sr., (RIP), and his cohort in crime, me late great mum Vivien Leigh Bogart, lived ridiculously large.  They never did a sensible thing in their lives.  They lived the "upside down" lifestyle to the max.  Instead of buying a nice suburban house (l), they bought the Versaille double wide, during an economic down turn, at a loss (r).

They just didn't have 2 or 3 kids, they had 7. 

Not only did they live large--Dirk and Viv died large.  Their funerals were gothic undertakings of epic (bordering on tacky)  proportions.  After settling their debts (ginormous) the estates have closed, and we 7 Bogarts have each received our share of the proceeds: $67.93.

I polled the Bogarts and asked what they were going to do with their respective inheritances:

Babs.........Seminole Smoke Shop

Mame.......Wine in a box

Jane.........Cigarettes

Peg...........Save the Whales

Gin...........Dog Food

Dirk, Jr.....Beer

Chip.........Diapers

Southern Gothic

You're welcome...
The Constellations
New Alt band from ATL.  This song is so cool, I was surprised to see it was a bunch of white guys.
http://www.ourstage.com/tracks/SUVWVGJTURSJ-felicia

Weenie Autos

“The thing is, it's really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs - if yours are really good ones and theirs aren't….. It's one of the reasons why I roomed with a stupid bastard like Stradlater. At least his suitcases were as good as mine."
The Catcher in the Rye
Holden Caulfield in Chapter 15

“The thing is, it’s really hard to share the road with people if your car is much better than theirs -if you have a turbo charged fuel injected engine with 240 horsepower that sounds like a jet, with responsive handling and tight cornering, while theirs is merely a 'souped' up retarded "green" golf cart, that can’t get it up to make it through the intersection.

It's one of the many reasons I flipped off the soccer mom pulling into the Lutheran school parking lot, talking on her cell phone, going 5 miles under the speed limit, with a 'Family First' bumper sticker on the back of her lame ass Toyota Scion.”
--Babs
4.26.10

"Dos Gardenios" from Buena Vista Social Club

My first gardenias of the season. 

Wish you could scratch and sniff. 

The aroma is heavy, heady, pungent, and heavenly. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmfa2XznVic

"Dos Gardenias" It is a poignant Cuban bolero (dating back to the '30's)-- sung by Ibrahim Ferrer, who sings with the mojo of one who has been utterly betrayed.

"Last Dance" by the Raveonettes....

I can't get enough of this video and song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUkn3368YoI

What I want to know is, what's going on in the car scene?

Discuss amongst yourselves and get back to me. 

I Know What U Do Creep!

Yea, that's exactly what that keyboard says.  Hey Fang, for your punishment type this (oh, wait,  I forgot, Mr. Unemployable, you can't type) well then, hunt and peck this statement 100 thousand times and get it to me in triplicate.

Back in harness after indulging in my semi-annual nervous breakdown...

Babs has been

1) out of the state
2) out of her mind

Thank you to all my devoted followers.
1)  I'm back in state
2)  still out of my mind!

Oh I have some juicy, juicy dish to blog about my travels and travails.  Need some blanket time tonight, but promise to catch you up on the cavorts and shenanigans and trouble I've stirred up in the next few days. 

Until then, let's make this blog interactive...

Learned a new "pc" term tonight.  The first one of you, my ferrett like followers that can correctly identify this term will receive a special "bitch slap" from Babs.

The term is "MSM." 

Party like it's 1979!

Sharona then               Sharona now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVdnqEyToqg&feature=related

RIP Detroit native, Doug Fieger, what a great song (cock was in the rock) you gave us!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/16/arts/music/16fieger.html

Good Friday Passions & Anniversaries

This imposing lady was the mother superior of Bab's School:

Sr. Lucille's Academy for [incorrigible] Gentlewomen (SLAG) whose mission it was to acquaint us intimately with the fire and brimstone of hell and guilt, whilst shaming the crap out of brat girls such as myself.

Truisms about Catholic school girls:
1.  If you tell them not to do something, and that it's a really bad sin, they're going to want to do it in spades i.e..sex drugs and rock and roll.

Two infamous harridan alumna of SLAG.  Madonna (l.), Lady GaGa (r.)

2.  Sr. Lucille and her cohort of penquins were constantly recruiting the girls of SLAG into becoming the "Brides of Christ" (i.e. slaves).  Most of of us SLAG-sters would've seriously considered becoming Jesus' mistress or girlfriend, because he was sensitive and had a six pac set of abs to die for.

Jesus channelled that alienated hippy vibe that we totally dug back in the day.  You could imagine Jesus pulling up to your parents house in his truck, and going on the road with him. "Bye, bye mom and dad, Jesus and I are getting out of this f**** town to live the rock n roll lifestyle and become rich and famous."   

A shout out on this Good Friday to my Hebe ex husband Fang. Hey Fang, do you remember what we did 6 years ago today douchebag?

Let me remind you, cheap ass entry in the Dikkiipedia -- you wouldn't fork out the coin for a cab, so we took a bicycle rickshaw to Cafe Daniel in NYC for our wedding dinner.

Posh-- Cafe Daniel!

Sr. Lucille would've self mortified herself with a cat o' nine tails had she lived to know her most incorrigble protoge, Babs, and her honeymooning future ex husband Fang, were summarily escorted by a jack booted cadre of Roman Guards out of the Vatican itself.

Granted I was dressed totally inappropriately, but who knew that wearing daisy dukes and a Guns N Roses halter sans bra would be frowned upon?

Fang and Babs were just confused Americans on a Eurail Pass funded by Fang's rich parents.  We thought... "this is Friday-- it must be Amsterdam in a heat wave."

And, I will admit Fang was so stoned-- he just oozed insousciant Jesus-killing, rich American Hebrew-- from the tip of his uber prominent probocis, to his insistence that I pose for a whacky picture with devil horns at the site of St. Peter's upside down crucifixtion.

Oh Fang, we had some great times.  Happy anniversary, BITCH.