Friday, May 20, 2011

Save the Date 5/21/2011

Just a reminder, Jesus is coming tomorrow for the "Rapture."  This is how it's gonna work, all the "holy holies" will be sucked up into heaven, and the rest of us sinners will be left here on earth.  How fun is this gonna be?

Post-rapture looting has been scheduled from noon-3:00p in your respective time zones.  My friend Sally from Tally and I have scheduled our post-rapture looting itinerary as follows:
1.  Sephora
2.  Perfume counter at Nordstrom's
3.  Shoe department at Nordstrom's
4.  Ikea
5.  Total Wine
6.  Lowry Park Zoo, cuz I've always wanted a pony. 

And last but not least, on my looting "wish list..."  To his hotness, Mr. Parker Stone, I am praying fervently to our Lord and Savior that your wife is one of the "elect" and gets sucked up into the heavenly vortex, as I've been coveting you for years.
Posted by at

4 comments:

  1. AnonymousFri May 20, 02:18:00 PM 2011

    Does anyone know where I can order an asbestos wetsuit that can be FedEx'd to me before the rapture tomorrow?---Feckless Piker

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lee Ann Howlett - Audiobook NarratorFri May 20, 04:13:00 PM 2011

    I already have mine, Piker, and if you act now, you, too, can be ready. Just call 1-866-929-5673
    or 1-8NO-Way-JOSE!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lee Ann Howlett - Audiobook NarratorFri May 20, 04:14:00 PM 2011

    BTW, Babs, save some of the size 7's for me at Nordstroms.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ThumbelinaFri May 20, 06:17:00 PM 2011

    Whew, Claire. Glad you're not into my 7 1/2s as I may have had to spritz you with some of that Jessica Simpson "perfume" (bug spray), and/or taze you with the brilliance of a 5K cubic zirconia, and or garrotte you w/a Hermes(recently acquired during aforementioned looting spree). "Just quietly back away from the 7 1/2 Cole Haan's and Tod's Claire else I'm gonna have to take you down w/some Jessica Simpson."

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)