Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Checklist of Hipsterdom or Ethnography of a Hipster

Little 'sis Mame, & Babs hit the town last weekend, doing our patriotic duty-- we dropped major coin in honor of our brave men & women who serve/d our country in uniform.  While on the prowl for a few good men in (or out of) uniform, all we met were "hipsters." 

Considering ourselves "nerdy cool," like Flo in the Progressive ads-- always on, in a sort of cracked & weird way, we couldn't help but notice this new & identifiable sub genre of coolness, the aforementioned "hipsters."

While well into our respective buckets of Delirium Tremens we devised for you, dear reader,  the following helpful checklist to help you identify a hipster.
Do you:
  • Smoke cloves, tobacco, weed/all of the above? (extra points if in public)
  • Wear skinny jeans/trou?
  • Wear super nerdy glasses?
  • Sport at least one non-tribal tattoo?
  • Forego the razor? (both sexes)
  • Drink or brew "craft" beer?
  • Work at a bookstore/coffee shop/record store/wait table at a hipster restaurant?
  • Buy only vinyl?
  • Speak in upseak so as not to offend? 
Are you:
  • Cute like Jesus, or hot like Trent Reznor?
  • Cute/angry/nutty like Alanis Morrissette or Winona Ryder back in the day?
  • Pierced?
  • Skinny?
  • A vegan, locavore, or paleo man/woman?
Extra Bonus points if you: 
  • You are, or have been enrolled in an art history/philosophy/religious studies/geology program.
  • Do not own a car.
  • Do not own a TV.
  • Have a trust fund.
  • Are bi-sexual.
  • Know that a pitchfork is not just used to bale hay or a snazzy devilish accessory.
  • Buy your clothes at a thrift store.
  • Have more than one pair of Birkenstocks.
As it says in Mark 14:7 "the hip will always be amongst you" (Mame corrected me "the poor will always be amongst you").  Same thing, Mame dear, anywho, we hope this checklist will help you identify and deal w/hipsters in your own environment.

We leave you with the following question ... "is being a hipster a naturally occurring phenomenon? Or merely a well thought out pose?"
xoxo
--Babs & Mame

6 comments:

  1. Honestly, I think it's a carefully crafted pose. Who else has expensive and painful tatoos all over their bodies without a lot of forethought and coinage accumulated. Definitely posseurs!

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  2. Yea. I think you've got a good point Anonymous. Can hipsters be fat?

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  3. In the interest of full disclosure, Babs' only begotten son, young Cobain Bogart, is a hipster sans a trust fund. However with Cobain it's a naturally occurring phenomenon. He was/is a hip baby, child, adolescent, and adult.

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  4. Hipster sets are common on Polyvore. However, I agree that most 'self-described' hipsters are poseurs. Two of my nephews fall into the hipster category (IMO) but neither would claim to be a hipster nor would they want to be pigeonholed into any category.

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  5. I think in most cases, it's hip to be just who you are. Everything else is superficial and ephemeral.---Piker

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  6. That said, all people should aspire to sprezzatura. You will be doing your fellow man a big favor. "Yea I know you had a shitty childhood, and it's hard for you to get yo lazy ass out bed in the morning, and you doubt the existence of god, but friend, I got my problems too. And hey, you married the douche. Deal with it and stay frosty."

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