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| Fang |
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| Priscilla |
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| Babs |
Versus:
There was a magical time in the kingdom of alter kockers known as the "Festival of Lights." Babs carefully chose her gifts to Fang:
Night one: A new shirt from Banana Republic to replace the threadbare Banana Republic schmatte in gun metal gray that Fang purchased in 1982 and refused to stop wearing.
Night two: A pair of UGGs sheepskin slippers.
Night three: A fleecy robe from Nordstrom.
Night four: A pair of Levi's 501 boot-leg dark wash to replace the stone washed peg-leg Sears Toughskins jeans that Fang purchased in 1982 and refused to stop wearing.
Night five: 1st printing of The Coffee Trader by David Liss personally signed by author "Mazel Tov Fang. Your tribal bra-- Dave"
Night six: limited release bottle of The Glenlivet Cellar Collection 1972 Cask Strength (aye yee could hear the skreel o' the bagpipes just corking this gem).
Night seven: 1945 Vintage Girard-Perregaux watch featuring an 18k rose gold case and honey alligator strap.
Night eight: A rare Hugh Hefner vintage smoking jacket.
Sources:
http://www.sbjf.org/sbjco/schmaltz/yiddish_phrases.htm
I can not BELIEVE you gave him that watch. Please tell me you're engaging in poetic license here!
ReplyDeleteThe watch didn't work and the smoking jacket had BO. But they looked good, and you know how Babs feels about books and their covers. And to quote Fernando Lamas "it's better to look good than feel good." And it could've been taken to a watchsmith and we do have drycleaners.
ReplyDeleteFreylekh should be freylekhe (F).
ReplyDeleteFerscnoked: No such word.
Balabusta dreck: Grammatically hackneyed.
You are saying : Female homeowner/boss piece of shit, but these words would never be paired in this way in Yiddish.
Worst blog ever. Your ignorance is only matched by your mean-spiritedness. What makes you think people are interested in ingesting your bitterness. Believe me, if this is an attempt at humor or satire, you are far from being funny. In debasing a language in which you lack literacy, you only succeed in diminishing yourself.
Stick to blogging about things you may know something about.
Have a likhtikn, freylekhn khanike.
Dear Anonymous:
ReplyDelete1. Thanks for the encouragement.
2. Could you clarify? Is that Babs' worse blog ever? Or the worse blog in the blogoshpere ever? One can only hope for the latter.
3. Let's go down d-basement together. Actually, Anony-hole, Babs' readership numbers spike when she serves up a healthy helping of bitterness spiced up with a little bit of Fang.
4. D-minish myself, waaa...you jest. I need others boosting my ginormous ego? Purely rhetorical.
5. Ouch. To aver that Babs ain't bitter cuts me to the core. Vinegar pulses through these veins.
Thanks again, you've made my day Anony. Please keep that cauldron stirring...xoxo
Oo-oo, "anony-hole" -- that's really clever.
ReplyDeleteThe name-calling reveals the state of your emotional development.
Worst blog in the blogosphere (in my experience).
Referring to yourself in the third person?
Speaks for itself.
And you are proud of your bitterness? Sad.
I pity anyone who shares your table or bed.
Consider therapy; and maybe you should get another hobby. World doesn't need any more of the contents of your toxic cauldron.
And, please don't continue to mangle the Yiddish language. It only makes you a laughing stock.
BTW - your moniker suits you.
Dearest Anonymous:
ReplyDelete1. My emotional development is that of a fetus.
2. Worse blog ever? Aww shucks you have made my day!!
3. I sport those scarlet letters B (bitch and bitter) with pride.
4. 5 thousand Elvis fans can't be wrong. The world seems to gorge on my toxic cauldron.
5. 'Tis my goal to be "a laughing stock."
6. Aww shucks, thanks again. I ain't named Babs for nothin.' Makes all this hard work worth it.
xxooxxoo
Babs
Dear Anonymous:
ReplyDeletePlease stop lurking on the periphery of your ex-girlfriend's blog and go back to tending to your new bride.
Thank you.
--The Bitch