Hey Floridians... it's time to get your whack on

The State of Alaska is attempting, quite successfully I might add, to wrest from us the title of  "Mo FUSU" (Most Fucked Up State in the Union), which we have managed to maintain through most of the 20th and 21st centuries. 

Recent census data suggest FL still rates #1 in illiteracy, teachers having sex with underage students, carnies in residence, and number of freaky komodo dragons living in the Everglades.

However, Alaska is zooming it's Nascar nation, snowmachine riding, moose hunting ass right up behind us.   Some startling recently released census data indicates Alaska outranks Florida per capita in:

1.   Trailer Trash:

2.  Meth Labs

 

3.  Ugly Fat Girls  http://glenniacampbell.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c790e53ef0133f0e7b015970b-pi

4.  Bible totin,' heat packin,' creationist, birther, hunting, bigot, part-time village idiot, red flannel shirt wearin' U. S. Senators:

Joe Miller (TP-AK)

Floridians, I must level with you, I don't think there's much we can do at this point to reclaim our status.

They even have their own book on how to become a citizen of the "Last Frontier."

I haven't even mentioned their advances in meaningful cannibas production.  This, in a state that produces not one legal crop. 

Guys and gals of the Sunshine State we have been out-dysfunctioned at our own game.  Let's have another Margarita, and work on our tans.