http://images.businessweek.com/ss/10/07/0722_laziest_states/2.htm
Dear Readers I am proud to report that both Michigan and Florida have made this esteemed listing.
Here for your review is Babs' top ten "douchiest" states--based on the merest, scantest, anecdotal, and prejudicial of opinions:
1. Texas- Bush, need I say more?
2. Alaska- Only in AK could Palin, and her brood of chillbillies spawn and prosper. AK has not produced one good rock band. In addition AK is the only state that repeatedly perpetrates premeditated homicide against inhabitants and visitors alike, see Alexander Supertramp and Grizzly Man. New state motto s/b... "Come to Alaska and be killed for FREE."
3. Ohio- Michigan without one fucking lake. I stand corrected-- to wit, the spontaneously combustible latrine eery Erie, where even a mortal sinner like Babs can walk on water.
4. Indiana - Nascar need I say more?
5. Iowa- How boring? Filled with "aww shucks" white folk, who drop their g's.
6. Kansas - Where "serious" white folk live. Check your sense of humor at the border.
7. New Hampshire- Prudes and dyspeptics-- please apply.
8. Maine- More outhouses and Walmarts per capita.
9. Utah - Mormons. Next to scientology and the Holy Roman church, one of the wierdest religions, EVER.
10. Minnesota - Cold as a witches tit and chock full o' Lutherans.
I have actually lived in Texas, Indiana, Kansas, New Hampshire and, of course, Florida. You forgot to mention in Kansas to beware of creepy killers (like Florida doesn't have any) like Dick and Perry running around. We lived not too far from where the Clutter family lived.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, Claire, I was unaware of the abuse you have suffered...you should sue the USAF for PTSD. Besides, creepy killers, Florida can boast supernumeral averages when it comes to teachers having sex with their students--50%, which is coincidentally close to our illiteracy rate.
ReplyDeleteI was born in Iowa, grew up in Michigan, live in Florida, and have relatives in Texas and Minnesota. There is no hope for me.
ReplyDeletePoor Kay! We're doomed! Babs was mean to point that out! :P
ReplyDeleteKay: By all accounts you should be a sex-crazed, boring, Lutheran Repulican, who drops her g's. Yet, you have impeccable grammar, and are an eccentric Socialist atheist?? Oops I left one thing out...
ReplyDeleteIs it too late to be sex-crazed?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy new motto: It's never too late to ... (fill in the blank).
ReplyDeleteBravo! Bravo!
ReplyDeleteHey Kay girl, you got it all goin' on.
ReplyDelete