Real Time Update from Richmond 11:10 p.m 8/27/11

"The wind is endless,and violent. No power since 4. Eating cheese and brownie bites."
--Emma Eiderdown, Richmond, VA

Aftershocks...more from the bed of our embedded seismologist...

Earthquake damage as seen from Emma's back porch.

"My bed started shaking at 1:08 AM, and then I heard the now familiar sounds in the walls, as the house shook with an aftershock.  But it was a very toned-down version of the previous incident -- I wasn't the least bit scared.  It was actually kind of cool......"
--Emma Eiderdown

Reading the above hearkens back to my 2nd honeymoon with my 1st ex-husband (or was that my 1st honeymoon with my 2nd ex-husband?).  No never mind-- Emma, I marvel at your sangfroid. 

Egad..from our "embedded" seismologist Emma Eiderdown, Richmond, VA

Babs was scared for Ms. Eiderdown? 
The wine?
Just a midday nap?
All of the above?   

"We just had a freakin' 5.9 earthquake!!!  My entire house was shaking so hard I thought it was going to crack in two!  I felt like I was stuck in an unbalanced washing machine -- I thought the entire house was going to blow up.  Pictures fell off the walls, books fell off of shelves, items fell all over the pantry, I have NEVER been that scared in my life.  Earthquake, hurricane, WTF?????"
--Emma

Hurricane Preparedness for Procrastinators: or the Big Blow

What was good for Ike is good for Irene.  Stage 1.

  

So sweet and beautiful...the perfect song for these soft summer nights in the tropics.

Be good to your librarian!!

Bushwalking...

"Central casting?  Send me the man of my dreams."

Question is... "what is a favorite pastime of our friends down under?"  BTW thanks to my OzN & Kiwi fan(s) for tuning into WBAB on a regular basis.  Now that I've got your attention I'll proceed with the topic of today's blog-- THE BUSH, you know (nudge, nudge) the real bush down under?  

One could accuse me of a pathetic attempt to get my blog stats soaring like the thermometer over N. America with a discussion so literally touchy and personal as The Bush-- and dad gum it, you'd be right.  But I'd like to get my readers "feel" on this "hot" topic.

Recently it was brought to my attention that girls are having a depilatory procedure performed that will permanently deforest their bush.  "Egad and Ick" say I.  Baby girls, grow up.  Fellas, are you serious?

I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but I'd like to know what your "taste" is on this "hairy" topic.  Please vote in the non-scientific, anonymous sidebar survey...
--xoxo Babs  

Big Books

Above pic found on http://www.swissarmylibrarian.net/
Post entitled "Swear Like a Librarian."
If you don't get it...why are you reading my blog?  See * below, you're welcome. 

I am going to submit my personal personal favorite "See U Next Tuesday."  As in "what a See U Next Tuesday she is."  Or another way to use:  one of your douchey (ha) colleagues is headed out for a long weekend..."hey (Brenda you bitch sotto voce)  See U Next Tuesday"  Very empowering in a passive/aggressive sort of way. 
*

Dear Miss Emmy:

Today I welcome guest blogger Emmy Eiderdown: 

If you have a perplexing  question--  the more f***** up the better,  send them to Miss Emmy c/o babsthebeeitch@gmail.com, or post anonymously on the comments below.

Dear Miss Emmy:
I had my nails, toes, and eyebrows done at a new salon that piqued my interest due to it's billing as a "wine spa/beauty salon."  Cha Ching!!  The total for services rendered was $65.00 (beyond reasonable). The manicurist and I got along like a house afire-- she being class of '74, Michigandress in diaspora, the victim of traumatic online dating, etc. and buckets of fun...I was feeling so jolly (drunk), absolutely adored my color selection (mayhaps not quite apropos for a job interview with an employer so obsessed with conservative appearances they don't hire fat people), I left the the new gal a $15.00 booze-enhanced tip, and my e-mail address.
See below (r.).

"Rock Royalty."
My Freudian way of saying
"I don't want your fricking cube job."


Following the interview (during which I randomly gnoshed on my M & M ring in order to maintain my blood sugar as the job sounded like suicide in a pop-top can), I headed up to visit you Emmy. While we were floating around the lake in NC listening to Bob Marley & working on our tans, new gal e-mailed me hoping to introduce me to a tall Jew whose back she waxes.  As an aside, she informs me she's moving to a new, salon, that is not a wine spa.  She wants to meet me at a cool wine bar to listen Flamenco guitar after work this Friday.

Meanwhile,one of my nails fell off, and the toes are chipping.  Here's the deal, her professional services are no longer required due to the aforementioned reasons.  I'd like to be her friend (she's a good ole gal), and possibly meet the tall Jew. What's Babs to do?
 
Dear Babs:
E-mail this kindred spirit and take her up on her Friday invite. Over drinks you can discuss the tall Jew, and learn some important dating criteria, such as whether he's smart, funny, and how often he has to wax that hairy back, and just how nasty it gets in between waxings. She will certainly notice the egregious missing nail, and will probably offer to fix it free of charge.

If the tall Jew sounds reasonably intriguing, with no glaring red flags such as multiple divorces, residing with his mother, or god forbid, gynecomastia, then perhaps you can agree to meet him for coffee at a convenient Starbucks.

You needn't worry about whether or not you want to continue with her nail services. A friendship with her should not be based on your business, but on the camaraderie you share with her; otherwise, it's as if you're paying to be her friend, which of course, does not pass muster with..
...Miss Emmy

Happy Birthday Baby Bea...

Happy Birthday Doll Girl.  I can't begin to tell you what you mean to me...let's start with...everything.

Buckets and buckets of love...
--Your Mom

Cuz you deserve a smile!!!

Stumbled upon the ghetto fab "Hooligans" when searching for a video tutorial on how to play the maracas...more about the maracas later, but I thought this might start your week off with a smile.